The news has got about that Boris, Liam and David are despondent about the prospects for exciting new trade agreements made possible by Brexit. Disentanglement from Europe is far more complex than they thought and – to be frank- the whole process could take up to ten years. On their journeys around the world other governments have appeared pained and confused. ‘What is it that you Brits want?’ is their complaint and answers there are none.
I want to be helpful. Indeed we should all enter into this task of becoming a world power again in a helpful frame of mind. There is much to be done. Have our negotiators thought about the Pacific Islands? I guess not.
I have a suggestion. Don’t laugh I want you to take the suggestion seriously. I suggest that the Foreign Office has not prioritised the Pacific Islands. Did you know that their are some 25,000 islands in the Pacific with a total population of 40 million people? Impressive isn’t it. Of course since the days of the British Empire other countries have muscled in: Australia , Indonesia and the United States, in particular, and the EU and the Commonwealth have been active. We used to play a big role in the Pacific . People would joke about our gunboat diplomacy. (They can’t do that now of course. I was distressed to learn that all Britain’s modern warships are in dockyards awaiting repairs. Shameful!).
I appeal in particular to Boris. The Pacific is a wonderful area to take holidays with an abundance of fine beaches and welcoming hotels. What better than to spend several months in the Pacific Islands each year with friendly people. Exercising due diligence you could invite family and friends to join you. It could be very, very pleasant. Wonderful!
On a more serious note the Pacific Islands are getting their act together and the timing might be good. They have combined to form the Pacific Islands Forum which aims to help the islands develop their economies. We can help, Boris, and they can help us.
Why not look at this way, Boris. If you are going to fail in your mission why not enjoy yourself? Their is no point in spending fruitless time and energy in Canada, shivering in the hotel entrance while waiting for a cab when you could be on the beach of an exotic island. If you are going to fail do it on the veranda of a wonderful hotel on a Pacific island.It is a no brainer.
Filed under BBC, Boris Johnson, Cabinet, Economics, Imperialism, John Martin, Labour Home, Labour List, Labour Party, Larisa Martin, Liam Fox, Liberal Voice, Politics, Sky Sport
The football season is upon us. The annual British religious experience is here. We Arsenal fans know what this means for us: frantic last minute endeavours by Barcelona to wrest away our captain Cesc Fabregas for their very mixed motives; to have Cesc become part of them; to rescue Barcelona FC from its nightmare of bankruptcy and fading glory. For those of you who are not on this planet and do not know, Barcelona discarded Fabregas when he was sixteen years of age in 2003 and Wenger, and Arsenal, had the sense to take him on and help him become the most gifted young midfielder in the world. Cesc is happy with us and we are happy with him. We believe that with Cesc we will move on from being a highly talented team to a great one, from a nearly side to the trophy winning phenomenon of modern football; and that one day we shall look back on the unbelievable shenanigans of Barcelona’s attempt to tap up our captain as their last throw of the dice.
Today our team assemble for the group team photograph. Our captain will be there, smiling we hope, and still sharing our dream. We want to tell him that we love him, that he is one of us; we need him to tell us that we are still part of his dream. Wenger, who does no more that speak for us, wants Cesc tell the world that he is committed to us for the next four years of his contract, that he wants to play for us – and good riddance to Barcelona.
If he does this other dreams will be shattered. Not only Barcelona football club and its fanatical devoted fans but Cesc’s family, friends and millions of adoring Spanish football fans, and not least the Spanish media who feed on Cesc. Choosing us, Arsenal, will dent the dreams of his father and agent, Franscesc, senior. His family aspirations will be bitterly disappointed. His mother and father are divorced. Franscesc, snr has a small property company and his mother Nuria Soler is the owner of a pastry shop. They have their own dreams: they need their son back where he belongs to fulfill them; they need him where they think he belongs, Barcelona.
At Arsenal we know we have done nothing wrong. We have been good to Cesc and he is good for us. Our club is impressively run and managed. Our house is built on solid foundations and not on sand. We can name many players who have grown impatient with us and who sought new and greener pastures only to find that they were mistaken by the siren sounds of new clubs and then to be quickly discarded on the whim and the politics of the moment. Not us Cesc, not us.
We cannot bear these constant rumours each and every season. Speak up Cesc, do it today. We know that if you do this, you will not let us down and we shall stand loyally beside you because we can believe in you without fear and believe in ourselves. Do it now Cesc, do it loudly and firmly, and let’s get on with the beautiful game.
Filed under Arsenal, Barcelona, BBC, BBC Sport, Fabregas, Guardian, Mail Sport, Premier League, Sky Sport, Soler, Spain, Star Sport, Sun Sport, Telegraph sport, Wenger